Why We Sabotage our Success, Wellbeing and Relationships

How much love, wellbeing, creativity, success and abundance are you willing to allow?

You may feel this is an odd question, and be thinking, duh, as much as I can get!

But what if I told you that we are all subconsciously tripping ourselves up when we exceed our pre-programmed setting of positive energy in the form of fulfilling careers, happy relationships, vibrant health, and all forms of success and abundance?

Consider my classic example of self-sabotage and how my awareness of this created an instantaneous healing while working out at the gym:

Several years back, I was feeling really accomplished that I was keeping my fitness goals and working out regularly for three months. Right after thinking this, my ankle went out while on the treadmill, like I sprained it. I remembered so many times injuring that same ankle, and knew it would take many months to rehabilitate. I got super depressed as I reached for the stop button, and I felt I was staring at the proverbial fork in the road.

Many times, just when I felt like I had really committed to a fitness program a well-timed Injury sidelined me. I sadly recalled that I had travelled the “injury sidelining me” road too many times and began feeling very discouraged.

As I was reaching for the treadmill’s stop button, I consciously decided to experience something new. Attempting to get off before I fell, my ankle pain subsided instantly and never returned. I knew my decision not to repeat the old pattern of injury being my great excuse to end my workouts just as I was starting to feel accomplished at a new level was the reason for the spontaneous healing.

“Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old familiar zone where we feel secure.” — The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, Ph.D.

I didn’t have Dr. Hendrick’s terminology of this phenomenon of the “Upper Limit Problem”, but I totally understood the underlying concept that feeling too good can trigger a part of ourselves that isn’t comfortable with that new level of good feeling, and we create thoughts and even circumstances that will pull us back to familiar territory, albeit less than ideal.

The spontaneous healing occurred because my awareness of my tendency to unconsciously sabotage myself when I was succeeding and feeling great, With that new consciousness, I made a different choice. Feeling really strong in my body was always a challenge and part of me was not comfortable or familiar with feeling this good about myself. I chose to find out how it would feel to break through one of my long-time limits of feeling really fit and sticking to my workouts.

How Does the Upper Limit Problem Manifest?

Dr. Hendricks’ notes: “The Upper Limit Problem crosses the boundaries of money, love and creativity. If you make more money, your upper limit problem may kick in and create a situation that causes unhappiness, ill health, or something else that blocks your enjoyment of your enhanced money supply.”

If you want a classic example, just look at the lottery statistics: over 60% of winners lose all their newfound wealth in less than 3 years. Many experience numerous other hardships like divorce, accidents, and legal trouble. The subconscious rubber band within them activates to snap them back to a more familiar and safe place, even if it is negative.

How to Solve the Upper Limit Problem

Hendricks’ advises that “Solving your Upper Limit Problem is possible only by a leap of consciousness…You can’t solve the Upper Limit Problem in the usual way we solve problems however, by gathering information and replacing it with another set of information…It must be dis-solved, not solved. You dissolve it by shining a laser like beam of awareness on its underpinnings that hold it in place… You must expand your capacity for positive energy and outcomes. Your capacity expands each time you consciously allow yourself to enjoy the money you have, the love you feel, and the creativity you express.”

Personally I am coming out of a challenging time that has rocked my usual feeling of clarity and deep wellbeing. It is directly related to my latest Divine Human course and “mission” of anchoring in the Garden of Eden energetic blueprint, not just in my own garden portal, which I have been doing for years, but for the entire planet. My still-limited understanding of the goal is to assist humanity and our planet in allowing the possibility of truly living in harmony, peace and joy rather than struggle.

When I first received the “calling” it was full of powerful energetic downloads, brilliant radiance, and a sense of unmatched reverence and awe, like a coronation of sorts. Misty-eyed, I barely could hold the experience or what it might mean for me to accept.

Since that first message, this new spiritual mission has stretched me in innumerable ways, from the reality of working with brand new energetics flowing through me that clearly were at my human limit to hold, to the return of an old pattern of doubt and unworthiness that makes me question “Who am I? How can I possibly be pure enough, strong and clear enough, dedicated enough, etc. to accomplish such a feat. What does it even mean?” Just speaking it even sounds really crazy to me at times!

On a deeper level, it is bringing to the surface my own limiting beliefs about what is truly possible. Is it really possible to live in harmony with each other and all creation? Can humans really live in expanding waves of peace and prosperity, free from the old programs of screwing things up when they are going too well?

Now I realize that this too is a classic “Upper Limit Problem” of feeling nervous out of my comfort zone, with doubt and unworthiness making me wonder if I am capable of pulling this off. A vague but undeniable fear emerged after years of feeling very little worry.

So of course as I am working on clearing this for myself, a client points me to the book The Big Leap that is helping me and many others as I share the awareness of the underlying concepts of how we sabotage ourselves when we feel too good.

When we realize that we are not just victims of a series of unfortuante mishaps, arguments, or painful situations, but we are subconsciously just not accustomed to things going more positively for us, we begin to take charge of our energy via our thoughts, choices and underlying beliefs and emotions. This empowers us to consciously expand our ability to hold more and more success, harmony, and joy in all areas of our lives.

Are you now noticing any of your own upper limit scenarios? Bravo! That is a key first step.

How is this concept liberating you?

While at first it may strike you painfully that you would unconsciously cause yourself to struggle so much, I find that ultimately this awareness really helps remove so much self-judgment, victimhood, and feeling out of control.

While others may find it easier to accept the premise, I am aware that it may be much harder to effect change on your own, especially if you have not had much good fortune in your life, and are not even sure more happiness and success is even possible for you. Feeling good may be a new muscle that needs to be strengthened bit by bit, for sure.

This is why I have sought out amazing advanced spiritual teachers for nearly 30 years. And one of the main reasons I am offering my latest Bliss retreats is to help people increase their ability to sustain more happiness for longer periods of time through learning simple practices that lead to more joy and higher states of consciousness more consistently . It is way easier in a supportive group than it is on your own. These expanded energetic states naturally help to dismantle limiting beliefs and patterns that keep us stuck in lower energetic mindsets like disillusionment, doubt, anger, worry, blame, criticism and fear etc.

When you stop looking outside to your environment, circumstances or other people to make you happy, and you learn to cultivate the conscious choice of more positive good feelings, and commit to that possibility, the magic begins. When you have an ample supply of tools that anyone, even children can employ, a higher level of happiness and success is no longer a possibility, but your new reality.

Choose a teacher who is able to demonstrate and transmit the higher energetic states, which makes it so much easier for you to accept and feel comfortable living at a higher baseline of contentment, happiness, success, love and harmony. Surround yourself with like-minded seekers, where feeling good more and more in your life is not just a pipedream, but your new normal.

It takes great courage to allow even the possibility that we can live in ever-expanding joy, freedom and accomplishment. It goes against eons of historical human suffering, and those who are playing small and safe, who will try to convince you that you are a dreamer, or that you are crazy and not living in reality.

Be radical. Be a LoveLight Warrior. Be Happy!

You can start right now by courageously affirming:

“I am willing to continuously expand my positive energy with totally positive consequences for myself and others.”