Some days it seems everything is totally flowing, projects are getting completed as if by magic. Then you wonder why it wasn’t happening like this all the time? What was going on the other days, weeks or months of seeming to stand still, feeling like nothing is getting accomplished.
As my Divine Human Course successfully launched I thought of this; all the times I felt the project was so huge and overwhelming and it felt like nothing I did was moving it forward. Yet now I am seeing the years of experimentation with new techniques, integration of new energies and dissecting of new states of consciousness in a more natural, holistic way.
But I had to laugh at myself…for my clients are often concerned about the same “problem”. There are times when I have such total crystal clarity, feel so high that I could accomplish anything, and then come crashing down to earth feeling stuck and nothing seems to be easy. The highs just don’t last, we lament.
At these times of second-guessing myself, I always recall this favorite teaching. Nearly twenty five years ago, I was traveling each weekend from Legal Aid in Maryland to upstate New York, a grueling nine hour drive in rush hour, to spend every second possible with my first spiritual teacher.
That particular Friday night, I arrived just as she was beginning her talk, but this time it was very different from her usual calm, light-hearted demeanor. She was extremely passionate, almost upset with us as she ranted on about how we didn’t seem to understand a very important topic.
She spoke of how thousands of devotees would ask her about how one day they had this really terrific meditation, with lovely light shows, beautiful visions and extremely high states of awareness. Then the next day, squat.
And on it goes; one day a great talk with the husband; the next they are squabbling. One great success at work, followed by more failures.
“You must understand the peaks, the pits and the plateaus of sadhana” (aka your Spiritual Practices/Journey)
She went on to say that our lessons are to persevere despite challenges and to stay the course. Spiritual practices are there to sustain you through all the ups and downs, and the experience of sadhana is not static.
Creation, Sustenance, Dissolution
We live in a universe of cycles. It is a basic spiritual law of creation that everything in the universe is first created, then sustained for a period of time, and finally destroyed. Creation, sustenance and dissolution of the universe and its elements are continuous processes which have been taking place since time immemorial.
When we are in creation mode, it is very fulfilling, and we often forget the importance of the other cycles that have been an integral part of generating the creations.
Gardening makes you very aware of the cyclical nature of things. When I moved to Florida at first I was thrilled that the growing season was all 12 months! At first, I continued to garden straight through the summers, despite enormous heat, humidity and annoying biting bugs. It was extremely difficult and I nearly passed out many times.
Finally I decided to shift my expectations. I recalled that up north we had winter when the gardens lay fallow. While it seemed like nothing was happening, the roots were deepening, and the soil was resting and replenishing. I had forgotten to allow that for myself. So I reversed he seasons in my mind; now I consider the summers here to be like winter up north, and I only do minor chores to sustain the garden until fall. Phew…what a relief!
Our expectation is that if we were doing everything “right” we would always be living in the “peaks.” But what if that perception is off-base? At a minimum, it is certainly setting us up for a lot of stress.
Sometimes I like to play card games and practice my intuition. I was trying to see if when I feel “in the zone” I would win more. At first it seemed true, I had a winning streak and thought oh yeah! Then I lost again…and again and wondered what went wrong.
The answer came very clearly: “You are not supposed to win all the time!” Now it sounds kind of obvious, but what I had been thinking was that if I was really tuned in, I would know just how to beat the odds. I would always have a winning outcome!
We all tend to develop preferences in everything we do or we fear we are not aligning with the law of attraction properly and therefore, we are doing something wrong. This belief can be especially painful when you have committed your life to bringing more healing and happiness to the world.
But what would happen if we accepted the simple truth: you are not supposed to win all the time. It would not be fun anymore if you always knew the outcome. The game of life would no longer serve its function of experience through contrast.
For me this is a reminder to be more accepting of the peaks, the pits and plateaus and to examine our personal and spiritual growth in a larger context. So now when I look at my life, I see that my overall baseline frequency or vibration is definitely riding higher. My times of sadness are shorter and I no longer feel that I have a deep well of grief like I did 20 years ago. I find comfort in the knowing that whatever challenge I am having that “this too shall pass” and it does.
The skill becomes to notice the overall trend of positive changes, while releasing the judgment of the momentary pits and plateaus. And to still be attentive to what is presenting at the moment that may need more healing and releasing.
Perceptions drive judgments. Is there something you are perceiving one way that with a shift, even a slight one, would bring you more ease and peace? Can you allow the peaks, the pits and the plateaus of your life and find comfort in the knowledge that you may be exactly where you need to be?