Sometimes it is all too big for words. But I’ll try. I just heard that in a Course in Miracles, there is a peak moment called a “holy instant” when we slip into alignment with the divine. Well, in our weekend Bliss Retreat that ‘holy instant’ started from the first chant and lasted through the final Anointing with Yeshua and the Magdalenes!  It was marked by massive healings, mind-blowing perceptions and keen awarenesses, all suffused in a blanket of Light and wrapped in so much love and appreciation for each other that the depth of sharing and feeling seen and safe and fully accepted was unprecedented.

One woman, who is quite clairvoyant, began “seeing” a curtain of light descend all throughout the room, and at times it was so dense she couldn’t even see me. At other times, she saw me blipping in and out, and totally disappearing. As this was new for her, she feared she may be losing her marbles! When I spoke to her at the end of the first day, I shared how that has been happening in my retreats pretty regularly, and that over the years, several people reported that I am disappearing. While I am not consciously trying to disappear, as I have not a clue how I am, I read that it is one sign of a very high vibrational state.

Practice Seeing Divine Light

So the second day I shared my newest poem from Yeshua which talks about our true nature as Light, and it happened all over again. We even did a practice of Seeing Divine Light in everything, and several people began to see energy fields or auras for the first time.

I am once again reminded how essential it is on the awakening spiritual path to be surrounded by “satsang” or truth seekers, and to have a mentor who can guide us, to offer a safe and healing and high vibe space to explore our newly opening spiritual experiences, which can sometimes be frightening if not understood in a broader context. The collective energy also springboards us way more quickly into higher consciousness states than we can reach on our own.

I feared I lost the connection…

You may think that after three decades of spiritual teaching and healing that it would be a no brainer for me (exactly what it is supposed to be-haha) yet the terrain is always shifting. So the day before the retreat, I had yet another moment of doubt. While I have taught the Bliss Retreat and offered the Anointing with Yeshua and the Magdalenes to many people with ah-mazing and miraculous results, I have gone through a massive energetic and spiritual upgrade the past 3 years, and my experience with “channeling” Yeshua has greatly shifted.

At first, it was like having a constant Presence within, that was so amazing and loving and supportive, and also so easy to directly communicate at any time–so it was totally reassuring to claim that I could do the Anointing. However, the past few years, that somewhat separate christed consciousness that kept me company 24-7 became…quiet. I feared at times I lost the connection, as I no longer felt the constant Presence and the chatty part disappeared entirely.

Whenever I asked if Yeshua was still with me, I always and only got one answer: I AM YOU. 

While I was mostly comforted and understood intellectually that I was beginning to merge into the Oneness Consciousness, at times it felt like I wasn’t as tapped in.

So after not teaching the Bliss Retreat for several years, I had a little wobble. Friday morning, I said a prayer (more of a plea) for some significant sign that I was still very much connected as I was about to share the most powerful initiation with a new group, and I needed to feel I wasn’t “alone” and left high and dry. As I made my morning medicine (coffee with medicinal mushrooms and spices) Yeshua started chatting rapidly, in the form of this poem. I was barely awake, and as I was pouring boiling water, I begged him to slow down so I could get a pen and paper, worrying that I would never retain the flood of beautiful words.

Luckily, by the time I sat to record it, I caught most of the divine download here:

I AM LIGHT ~ Yeshua

You are light

Both natural and unnatural

worldly and divine

Light meets light

Light greets light

Light seeds light

Light flees light…

and you are born.

Nurture this Light

from within your sacred heart.

The divine spark within

is reflected in the waters sparkle,

in the sun’s rays,

in the iris of a lover,

in the kindness of a stranger.

Recognizing this Light as it shows itself,

amplifies it immeasurably.

Light breeds light —

and Love is its essence.


My radiance is growing within the awakened heart

as well as in the despairing heart

It only takes a spark to ignite

Be that spark of love for each other



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